Flasyd at Hooters in Queens – Photos by Rachelyn Remz
Last Call is an interview series where I, Brittany Marino, ask talented folk all about their lasts: last time they did something, last time they felt something, etc. This time, I met up with the Flasyd girls: Syd, Bratt, Acacia, Lily and Kim at everyone’s favorite restaurant, Hooters. The girls made Flasyd X Hooters shirts just for the occasion.
Feeling excited but also limp? Meet Flasyd, NYCs hottest punk rock girls making men all over the city hate themselves. 2024 is the year of Flasyd, and the girls are prepping to drop their debut album soon (that’s all I can say). I got the pleasure of hanging with the band during a weekend in Mexico City where they played two shows, one of which Alt Citizen hosted. Audience members got to hear tracks off of the upcoming album, Always Fast, Hardly Accurate. Someone even threw their bra onto the stage! Who could have possibly done that? We may never know. What I do know is: flaccid rock is here to stay and I am along for the ride. Now someone go grab me a beer!
Flasyd: (claps and cheers) Yay!
Brittany: Ok, so we’re, we’re starting-
Syd: Thank you for having us.
Flasyd: Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you!
Brittany: Oh my.
Flasyd: Happy Birthday dear cocaine (laughs and trails off)
Brittany: I got that on the voice note, ok.
Bratt: That was a secret track. That was the first time we’ve ever played that live.
Flasyd realizes Syd made the Flasyd Hooters shirts backwards
Brittany: We’re gonna get started. Also, because the music is loud, let’s be loud.
Syd: We got that, no problem.
Brittany: Yeah not really worried about that. Ok so, who is the last person you texted? Take out your phones, tell me what it says.
(all laugh)
Syd: Denise from Leatheracci.
Bratt: Mine was Syd.
Syd: That’s hot.
Brittany: What did you say to Syd?
Bratt: I said “lol”
Brittany: Ok, Kim?
Kim: Mines a Mario Kart group chat called Karts n’ Hoes.
Brittany: (laughs) Ok and what was the context of the text?
Kim: Oh, that a new friend secretly was playing Mario Kart and they might join the group chat.
Brittany: Ok, great. Lily does not have a phone.
Lily: NOPE. Well since you’re asking the last time was probably yesterday but besides Syd and Flasyd stuff, it was Lance on Instagram DM and we included a meta chat bot in there and we asked it about mythology.
Acacia: Mine’s so boring I just texted my boyfriend and told him I was going to be late.
(all laugh)
Brittany: Last song you guys wrote?
Flasyd simultaneously: “Speedball”
Kim: Syd’s balls, Syd’s balls!
Syd: (gollum voice) 1,2,3,4
Brittany: When did you guys do that?
Bratt: The last hour and a half we were recording our album.
Syd: It’s actually a sleeper boomer song.
Bratt: Every old ass mother fucker loves that song.
Brittany: I mean I love it, you know I got to listen to it! (brag)
Acacia: Boomers, and millennials, all the gens love it. It is beloved by all.
Brittany: Ok, last movie you watched?
Syd: “Coyote Ugly”.
Bratt: Uh the last movie I watched was “Debs.” It’s like a gay spy movie from the early 2000s. It’s really funny.
Syd: Bratts gay.
Brittany: Yeah, Bratts gay, let the record show.
Kim: Mine’s so embarrassing, it’s “Little Fockers”. I watched all the Focker movies in a row. It sucked.
Acacia: Do we have to be honest? Because my answer is not cool either.
Lily: Mine is so lame.
Bratt: If you’re honest it’ll be better.
Lily: No, it’s like an arty, like an art movie.
Brittany: Ok, give it to us, give it to us.
Lily: It’s called the “The Red Shoes”, it’s really pretty.
Acacia: Oh, I love that movie!
Lily: So cool, so sick.
Brittany: Is this a new movie?
Acacia: No, no.
Lily: From like the 1940s.
(simultaneously)
Lily: It’s one of the first technicolor movies.
Acacia: It’s one of the first color movies.
Syd: That’s when the Oregon Trail was right?
Lily: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh
Acacia: Just cut that part out of the interview please!
Syd: I’m kidding, WW2.
Brittany: Acacia?
Acacia: “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.”
Brittany: Do you think Robert Pattinson is hot?
Acacia: I hate to answer this honestly, but the answer is no.
Brittany: No? (to Flasyd) Do you think Robert Pattinson is hot?
Bratt and Syd: Yes!
Syd: I definitely would have been in Hufflepuff so we definitely would have hufflefucked.
Brittany: Kim?
Kim: What?
Brittany: Is Robert Pattinson hot?
Kim: In general or in the film?
Brittany: I can take both answers.
Kim: Yeah.
Brittany: Ok, yeah.
Acacia: You know who’s hot in Goblet of Fire? The Russian crumb guy.
Brittany: Oh yeah yeah yeah.
Acacia: The bad boy.
Syd: What about Haggard?
Everyone laughs in unison: Hagrid?
Syd: What’s the difference?
Bratt: “What about Haggard”, what about it, that’s all of us?
(all laugh)
Syd: I don’t know I’ve always pictured myself with a larger man at the end of my life. More of a Peter Griffin.
Bratt and Brittany: Ew.
Lily: I can see that.
Syd: Like in that scene where he’s crushing Louis in bed.
Brittany: I just want the record to show that Bratt did mouth something, but I will not be writing it down.
Brittany: Last time you cried? Go. Syd.
Syd: (pause)
Brittany: You don’t have to answer if it’s too emotional.
Syd: I don’t cry often.
Lily: I’m going back in time.
Brittany: Do you happy cry ever?
Syd: No?
Acacia: I hate being the last to answer because I always know right away.
Brittany: Acacia you answer.
Acacia: I cry like three or four times a day.
Brittany: Do you happy cry?
Acacia: Every emotion cry. I cry a lot. I cry from instagram a lot. It feels good. I don’t do drugs, so I cry. It’s how I get my fix.
Food arrives, girls become ravenous.
Brittany: Last concert you went to?
Syd and Lily: Uhhhhhhhhhh
Lily: They all blur into one.
Syd: Flasyd.
(Lily laughs)
Brittany: A Flasyd concert?
Acacia: Yeah, like we played is the last time I was at a show. Wait, New Year’s Eve!
Kim: Kid Congo!
Acacia: Yeah, Kid Congo.
Lily: Oh yeah.
Brittany: Where?
Kim: T.V. Eye
Brittany: Bratt do you have an answer?
Bratt: I’m trying to think. Like, I really truly don’t remember.
Acacia: Didn’t you just go to a like Madonna concert?
Bratt: No, I did not go to Madonna.
Kim: Oh wait, Kiss!
Bratt: (screams in agony) I didn’t go to that one either!
Acacia: Oh my God, I’m sorry!
Syd: That was an old ticket (referencing a post on Bratt’s instagram story)
Bratt: I feel like I saw a show recently but I don’t remember. I can’t remember the last time.
Brittany: Ok, last thing you splurged on?
Syd: My apartment.
Lily: Paint pens.
Brittany: Pink pens?
Flasyd: Paint pens!
Brittany: Oh, paint pens.
Acacia: I’m addicted to shopping online.
Brittany: Clothes, or just like everything?
Acacia: Clothes and just yeah stuff.
Brittany: What did you get last?
Acacia: I think extensions.
Brittany: Extensions? Yeah those aren’t cheap.
Acacia: No, I mean I buy synthetic. They were $100 but I got them on sale for $50.
Brittany: Bratt, Bratt answer!
Bratt: The last thing I splurged on was a guitar pedal.
Syd: Hot.
Acacia: That’s a hot answer.
Brittany: What does that do? Talk to me like I’m stupid, I don’t know music.
Bratt: It’s a distortion pedal. It makes my guitar sound really fucking sexy and cool.
Lily: That’s not flaccid.
Syd: It’s limp though.
Brittany: Kim? What’s up? Where did you splurge last?
Kim: I bought a drumstick slash pallet that is actually Travis Barker’s, it’s his.
Brittany: Like he used it?
Kim: No, no, no, no, what’s the word?
Lily: Collab, collab!
Kim: Collab.
Brittany: Are you a Travis Barker fan?
Kim: Not, well, only with Syd.
Brittany: Ok.
Acacia: Would you fuck Travis Barker?
Brittany: Is Travis Barker hot?
Kim: No.
Acacia: No.
Brittany: Last note written in your notes app. Get your phones back out ladies.
(Bratt laughs)
Syd: I know what mine is already.
Acacia: I know what mine is too.
Brittany: Acacia you go first.
Acacia: Mine is an idea for a Flasyd logo that’s a scruffy little kitten missing one eye and smoking a cigarette.
Syd: Mine is a list of the men we will pimp for the Flasyd pimping men event where we are going to auction off men for, uh big money.
Brittany: Did you hear about this, guys?
Acacia: I’m gonna be out of town, I’m so bummed. I want to auction off men like they’re useless objects.
Brittany: We were really inspired by Coyote Ugly.
Kim: Oh right.
Brittany: Ok Bratt or Lily.
Lily: Mine is Not Attached, with keys missing question mark on verses, which is just a note about our recording. I just wrote a note that I thought one of the tracks might be muted at the keys .
Kim: Mine is just a tour checklist.
Brittany: A tour checklist?
Kim: Yeah.
Brittany: Wait, wait, what are some of the things on the tour checklist?
Kim: It’s so boring.
Lily: That’s so cute.
Brittany: Give me like the first three.
Kim: Small memory foam pillow, portable charger, over the head earphones.
Lily: Honestly, yeah.
Brittany: Bratt, last note.
Bratt: Uh it’s a list also, and it says juice stair guy and chain underwear
Syd: And then all of her favorite body parts of mine.
Bratt: Yeah, Syd’s pussy.
Acacia: Her lil porn star pussy.
Syd: Acacia knows I got a tight porn star pussy because I made her look.
Bratt: You didn’t intentionally make her look, it was just out.
Syd: No, I really did make her look at it.
Brittany: Ok, last thing you obsessed over?
Lily: Syd, I believe you.
Acacia: Obsessed over?
Brittany: Yes, last thing you obsessed over.
Bratt: My breakup.
Lily: My failures.
Syd: Honestly?
Brittany: These are good because a lot of people answer with positive obsessions but I love the (laughs), honesty.
Lily: (dark) Oh.
Acacia: My last obsession was like whatever thing I want to draw is like obsessed in my brain until I draw it and I’ve been obsessed with this red latex woman I need to draw and I just realized that Brittany’s (Bratt) actually perfect for it so she’s going to send me some solicited nudes so I can use her as the model for my red latex woman.
Brittany: I like that! When are you dropping your nudes online?
Bratt: Umm I’m thinking maybe (Syd chimes in) tomorrow.
Brittany: Can we get an Alt Citizen centerfold?
Bratt: Oh yeah I’m gonna spread eagle.
Acacia: Labia only.
Lily: OH MY GOOOOOOOOD
Syd: I have um OCD so I’m constantly obsessed with thoughts.
Brittany: Constantly obsessed negatively?
Lily: Compulsively actually.
Brittany: Kim?
Kim: My last obsession?
Simultaneously–
Syd: Don’t lie, it was me.
Acacia: You can say it was me, Kim.
(all laugh)
Kim: My girls.
Everyone: Awwwwwwww
Syd: Obsessed with getting laid.
Acacia: Until she got that good D then she was good.
Syd: Was the D good?
Brittany: Yeah was the D good?
Kim: Yes the D was good.
(all cheer)
Acacia: Who was the last D that you got?
Syd: I am not doing that.
Bratt: Wait what was the question?
Acacia: Was the last D that you got good?
Bratt: (to Brittany) Are you asking this?
Brittany: (laughs) No.
Bratt: (laughing) What, Acacia!
Acacia: Dick has entered the chat.
Bratt: The last dick? Uh, two years ago, it wasn’t that good.
Brittany: There’s a reason it was two years ago. Ok, last time you got your heart broken?
Syd: When I really failed at my job last month.
Bratt: Two years ago.
(all laugh)
Brittany: Kim?
Kim: {redacted}
Brittany: Lily, your answer?
Lily: I plead the fifth.
Brittany: Ok, plead the fifth. Alright last question, last time you created something you were proud of?
Syd, Bratt, Kim: Flasyd album!
Acacia: I’m drawing a portrait of Syd’s dad as a giant cock right now, I’m pretty proud of that.
Brittany: I have seen this and it is quite impressive.
Syd: Can we not?
Lily: I photoshopped Syd as the Virgin Mary.
Brittany: Oh yes I saw that on instagram, I was proud. All right that’s it guys.
Flasyd: Yay!!